Lessons for My Daughter from a Teacher-in-training

Roriwrangling – by comedian, mum and radio announcer Kat Davidson

 

Lessons for My Daughter from a Teacher-in-training

 

I have read so many of these things, and I’m always struck by how certain the mothers sound. These mums have not only figured out these lessons, they live by them every day and will have no trouble imparting them to their angelic offspring. I am not that mum and, while she is only ten months old, Rori is giving strong signs that she will not be so easily led. So here are some things I hope she picks up, or that she manages to teach me, or that maybe we can muddle through together.

 

1. Keep an open mind when it comes to music.

It scares me to think what music will sound like when you are old enough to get into it. Just a series of beeps and whistles with a driving beat and no instruments whatsoever perhaps. But I’ll try to listen to it with you without trotting out “that’s not music…that’s just bloody noise…”. So try to listen to the music that went before with an open mind. Try some Pink Floyd, maybe some Nirvana, even some Pink, David Bowie, Rihanna, Eminem – you never know, kid, you might even like it.

 

2. Don’t judge people who aren’t as smart as you.

Do judge people who are bright and choose not to use their intellect though. Those people deserve your scorn. But if a person doesn’t have your IQ, or the benefit of a good education, they are still worthy of your time and your energy. In some cases, they’ll make better decisions than you do because they work on instinct.

 

3. Don’t worry about what other people think of you.

9 times out of ten, they’re not thinking about you at all. They’re too busy wondering what you’re thinking about them. And the one time they are thinking about you, you have no control over it anyway. I have spent my entire adult life asking the people closest to me not to call me by my childhood name because, each time they do so, it makes me feel like they see me as a child, and that I am not respected or understood as an adult. But I get that they just think its my name. That’s all they’re thinking. I’ll get back to you if I ever let that one go, though, Rors.

 

4. Don’t wear white slacks.

Unless you’re a golfer or a Cruise Director. In which case, go for it.

 

5. Choose a man like your dad. Or a woman.

Because he’s awesome. And you deserve to be loved by your partner as much as your dad loves you now and with the same uncomplicated joy. Don’t believe the bad poets. Love is not supposed to be painful.

 

6. Don’t trust people who don’t like animals

Those people are serial killers and sociopaths and should be avoided.

 

7. Laugh.

And not just at comedy. Laugh at cat videos on the internet. At your mum when she tries to dance to your music. At yourself. At politics. At farts and the way your hair looks in the morning before you tame it. Just laugh.

 

 

You must be logged in to post a comment Login