Movie Review: World War One-Z

World War One-Z

Review by Chris Burns

*/****

It is probably best you do not consider this cinematic fiasco as a prequel to World War Z. There is nothing to link these two movies except zombies.

World War Z stars Brad Pitt, whose character navigates the world to seek the origins and weakness to the zombie infestations. It is fast paced and a well put together ride.

World War One-Z doesn’t have Brad Pitt. The audience is treated to seeing Justin Bieber’s face for 145 minutes instead.

Bieber plays a young patriotic American (they are always American, aren’t they?) who signs up for military service at the start to World War One. It’s a slow beginning – it shares a similar fault of the original movie by elaborating too much into a family side-plot. Bieber being shipped to Gallipoli could be a fiendishly delightful occasion for Bieber haters, but unfortunately a tearful mother turned it awkward.

This is where the intelligent plot falls to pieces, as the militant boat people jump onto the beach and run their hearts out.

I think I was supposed to say “spoiler alert” several paragraphs ago. Never mind. Better late than never.

As Bieber charges the beach – with the boys from One Direction making a delightfully violent cameo involving blood, death, and land mines – zombies in various forms of animal themed pyjamas climb out of the sand to attack the American and Australian troops. The Turkish soldiers have been using these zombies as some sort of defence mechanism – though it is not explained why the undead are wearing Japanese themed pyjamas.

Sure, it is exciting watching Bieber wrestling with rapid lions, tigers and bear people, but at this point you’re probably beginning to think, “what the f-?!”

There is no explanation as to why it has taken almost 100 years for the zombie virus to spread uncontrollably across the world, during the events of World War Z.

You’re more likely to gain better historical accuracy from Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.

1 out of 4 stars. I added a half star because Bieber is – surprisingly – a good actor, and made me feel all kinds of emotions and shit I’ve never felt before. I was sad to see the lion zombie maul his face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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